Monday, February 2, 2009

The not-so-pretty

So, my life is NOT perfect. Although I have tons of amazing people and things to be grateful for, there are still crappy things that happen to me. Just like I am sure every single person who reads this blog, would agree..that they too have 'bummer' aspects of their lives. The biggest 'bummer' I've been dealing with all started on a beautiful warm morning in Hawaii.

A painful "panic attack" found me and then quickly left. This happened a few other times and then this past summer (two years later) they started happening more frequently. One night, early in September while Miles was gone in New York, I woke up experiencing the worst attack I had ever had. It lasted from 3am until 7:45am, so I called my 'Women's Health' doctor and she told me to come in that very day. After a VERY thorough evaluation, and by very thorough, I mean this one question, "Do you feel like you experience dread?" to which my reply was, "Well, I guess I dread getting up in the morning for work, but other than that, no.", She decided to prescribe some anti-depression and anxiety pills.

This just did not sit right with me. Yes, I had just started a very HARD new job and yes, I am NOT a morning person, but NO I don't feel depressed or anxious continually. So I chose not to fill the prescriptions and decided I would wait to see what to do next. Luckily I happened to have yet ANOTHER attack a week later and finally took myself into the E.R. to get checked out.

They had me get an ultra sound of my abdomen and sure enough.. I had gall stones in my gallbladder. In the mean time, they also thought that they saw something "strange" on my liver. GREAT! After a CT scan, the nurse from the doctors office called me very chipper-ly and said, "Oh Emily, I am so glad I got a hold of you! :) It looks like the mass we saw on your liver just ended up being some fatty tissue!! :) But, it was sssooo great that you came in, because it looks like we found a TUMOR on your KIDNEY!! :) I mean, this is just a blessing!!! :)".

I was sick. "What?" was the only thing I could muster out of my mouth. "Are you serious? No, wait, the thing on my liver is nothing, but you found a tumor on my kidney?" The kind nurse was trying her best to calm me down and give me all types of personal stories about how you shouldn't worry about something until you really know what it is...EASY FOR HER TO SAY!

This all happened on a Friday and I had to wait until Monday to talk with the doctor.

7 comments:

Amanda the Couch said...

can i just tell you how much i love the fact that miles is wearing sweats in that picture? sweats are the best.

PS where's the rest of the story?

love you & love that you have started to blog again!

Christi said...

Emily, are you okay? What a scary experience. Is there anything I can do? Please let me know if I can do anything!

Tay said...

Oh my. That's some crazy stuff. Do continue the story soon!

Travis and Liz Felix said...

WHAT?? I am freaking out right now... why the "to be continued"??? Are you okay Em?

Ang said...

First of all, Emily, I love love love that you are so real on your blog. I hate the super cheesy, everything is so wonderful all the time blogs. And, I'm so sorry to hear about your recent news, I'm assuming that you didn't finish the story yet? A little over a year ago I had a similar experience in a nurse telling me on the phone that I probably had a small brain tumor, said it in a way that made it sound like I shouldn't think that's a big deal at all! Stupid people!

Ali said...

a tumor on your kidney?

GOOD CRAP EMILY! Are you okay? When did this discovery happen? This is serious business, if you ask me. I hope you update soon with news that your health is better. Keep us updated. And ditto to what the other comments say. I love your guts.

marta said...

you are the cutest, em. oh my gosh, i'd be freaking out. i'm so glad your healing up from such a stressful situation. i'm so sorry you've had such drama, that would be so so scary. at least the bach is on tonight.


am right there with you, after my c-section, hooray for stomach surgeries.